Last Sunday, our weekly broadcast, Your Pathway Home, really got a lot of instant feedback. It was great! We appreciate all of our viewers. But I could tell we really touched a nerve. I think it is because so many people are impacted by verbal and emotional abuse today. Typically, it is something many people quietly live with but rarely bring up on their own. But it is a thing.

Verbal abuse happens in marriages. It happens in families. And, it happens in churches. And too often, it is excused as “just how they talk,” “strong personality,” or “normal conflict.”

It is not.

What Is Verbal Abuse?

Verbal abuse is a pattern of speech that is meant to control, belittle, intimidate, shame, or dominate another person. It is not a single bad day or a poorly chosen word. It is repeated, targeted, and destructive.

Verbal abuse includes:

• Insults, name-calling, or ridicule

• Yelling meant to intimidate

• Constant criticism or tearing down

• Mocking someone’s faith, intelligence, or worth

• Twisting words to confuse or control

• Threats, even if never acted on

Solomon said, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).

Words can wound deeply. And God takes that seriously.

How Is This Different From Normal Disagreement?

Disagreement is part of life. Even healthy relationships have conflict. But disagreement seeks understanding. Verbal abuse seeks control. Disagreement allows both people to speak. Verbal abuse silences one voice. Disagreement may hurt temporarily. Verbal abuse leaves lasting damage.

James says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger” (James 1:19). Verbal abuse does the opposite. Conflict can exist without cruelty. Abuse cannot.

How Can Perpetrators Learn to Stop?

This is where honesty comes into play. Verbal abuse is not caused by stress, frustration, or other people “pushing buttons.” Jesus said, “The mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart” (Matthew 12:34).

Change begins with repentance.

That means:

• Owning the behavior without excuses

• Naming it as sin, not personality

• Seeking help, counsel, and accountability

• Learning new ways to speak and respond

• Submitting the tongue to Christ daily

The Holy Spirit is direct: “Let no foul language come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up” (Ephesians 4:29). That command leaves no room for abusive speech.

What Can Victims Do?

First, hear this: verbal abuse is not your fault. God does not call you to endure ongoing harm in silence.

Victims can:

• Name the behavior honestly

• Set clear boundaries

• Seek help from trusted, godly people

• Document patterns if needed

• Protect their emotional and spiritual health

The Bible commands us to pursue peace, but never at the cost of righteousness. “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). That phrase “if possible” matters.

God is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). He does not dismiss your pain.

What Does the Bible Say About Speech?

Scripture repeatedly condemns abusive words.

• “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the taste and healing to the body” (Proverbs 16:24)

• “A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath” (Proverbs 15:1)

• “With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people… This should not be” (James 3:9–10)

• “Put away… abusive speech from your mouth” (Colossians 3:8)

God cares deeply about how we speak because words shape souls.

A Final Word

Fighting back against verbal abuse does not mean returning insult for insult. It means standing in truth. It means refusing to call sin acceptable. It means seeking healing instead of pretending wounds do not exist.

God’s desire is not dominance, but restoration. Not fear, but peace.
Not silence, but truth spoken in love. And learning to speak like Christ is part of becoming like Christ.

Be sure to watch Your Pathway Home Sunday morning at 8 AM as Jason & I focus on this subject. We’d love to hear your comments during the broadcast. You can watch live at cornerstone-coc.com or on Facebook.

Yesterday, I shared a short clip from Your Pathway Home on my Facebook page about learning to yield in our relationships. On that broadcast, Jason and I were talking about ordinary, painful realities of life together: personality conflicts, careless words, misunderstandings, and even sin that happens between people who are trying to follow Christ.

Several responses showed that some heard something very different.

A few interpreted the message as suggesting that Christians should excuse abuse, overlook unlawful behavior, or quietly endure serious harm in the name of peace. That was not our message. And it is not what we believe. Scripture never asks God’s people to protect sin.

There is a difference between yielding in love and surrendering to evil.

Yielding applies to pride, preference, tone, impatience, and the everyday frictions that come with life in families and congregations. It means being slow to anger. It means choosing humility over ego. It means refusing to turn every disagreement into a battle. Paul reminds us, “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). Even there, Scripture acknowledges limits.

But yielding does not mean ignoring wrongdoing.

It does not mean excusing abuse—physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual. It does not mean overlooking criminal behavior. It does not mean asking victims to remain silent to preserve appearances. God’s word is clear: “Don’t participate in the fruitless works of darkness, but instead expose them” (Ephesians 5:11). Silence is not righteousness. Hiding sin is not mercy.

Refusing to deal with destructive sin has long been a problem in families. Physical abuse and sexual abuse happen far more often than we know. Much of it remains hidden because of fear, shame, misplaced loyalty, or pressure to “keep the peace.” Scripture warns, “The one who conceals his sins will not prosper” (Proverbs 28:13). Too often, families silence victims instead of confronting sin. They protect reputations instead of people. And in doing so, they allow harm to continue.

That is not love. That is not biblical.

The Bible consistently calls God’s people to justice and truth. “Learn to do what is good. Pursue justice. Correct the oppressor” (Isaiah 1:17). Love does not look away when harm is done.

The New Testament reinforces this responsibility within the church. Jesus taught that sin between believers must be addressed honestly and directly, not ignored or spiritualized away (Matthew 18:15–17). Paul warned that unchecked sin spreads and damages the whole body (1 Corinthians 5:6). And love itself “finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6).

Holding someone accountable is not unloving. Ignoring sin is.

Refusing to deal with serious wrongdoing harms everyone involved. It damages the soul of the one who sins. It wounds those who are affected. And it corrodes the spiritual health of families and congregations. Discipline, though painful, is meant to lead to “the peaceful fruit of righteousness” (Hebrews 12:11).

When behavior breaks the law, it must be reported. Scripture teaches that governing authorities are “God’s servant… an avenger that brings wrath on the one who does evil” (Romans 13:4). Turning a blind eye to criminal behavior is not grace; it is negligence.

When behavior is abusive or destructive, it must be named. God calls His people to “rescue the poor and needy” (Psalm 82:4). Silence does not heal. Avoidance does not protect. And spiritual language should never be used to shield ungodly conduct.

At the same time, accountability and humility are not opposites.

Scripture calls us to restore with gentleness while also exercising wisdom and care (Galatians 6:1). Wisdom from above is “first pure, then peace-loving” (James 3:17). Purity comes before peace.

We can confront sin without cruelty. We can seek justice without hatred. We can protect the vulnerable while still calling sinners to repentance. Yielding means laying down pride, not abandoning wisdom. Grace means calling people to transformation—not enabling harm. Peace means righteousness—not pretense.

If you are facing serious wrongdoing in a relationship, you are not faithless for addressing it. You are not unspiritual for seeking help. And you are not disobedient for protecting yourself and others. “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). God is near the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). God cares about truth. God cares about justice. And God cares deeply about the health of His people.

Holding people accountable is part of loving them and loving the body of Christ well.

I hope you all enjoyed the long holiday weekend. Thanksgiving has become my favorite holiday. We were able to have our entire family together from Wednesday to last night (which doesn’t happen often), and it was so wonderful. Our daughter and her boyfriend flew back to Florida last night … and today things go back to normal for a few weeks. The Christmas holiday season is upon us!

This week, we’re looking at five sins we often overlook. These aren’t the outward, scandalous kinds of sins. These are the quiet ones that settle into the heart. They don’t collapse a life overnight, but they slowly bend our attitudes and weaken our walk with Christ. Most of us don’t talk openly about these struggles, but they are real. And they remind us how much we need the grace of Jesus every single day.

Today, we begin with envy.

Envy is No Small Problem

Proverbs 14:30 says, “A tranquil heart is life to the body, but jealousy is rottenness to the bones.” That’s blunt. Envy is seen as a deep, hidden decay that works from the inside out.

Envy appears when someone else gets something we desire. It could be a blessing, a talent, a position, a friendship, or an answered prayer. Instead of celebrating, we hesitate. We show a smile outwardly, but inside, something tightens. We may stay silent, but our heart keeps score.

James warns us that this attitude is dangerous. He writes, “Where there is envy and selfish ambition, there is disorder and every evil practice” (James 3:16). Envy doesn’t stay put. It opens the door to bitterness, division, and resentment. It shapes how we see people. It changes how we treat them. It makes us suspicious and insecure.

At its core, envy is a trust issue. We forget who God is and how He operates. Jesus told His disciples that the Father knows what we need before we ask (Matthew 6:8). He sees us. He provides. He gives in wisdom and love. But when envy takes hold, we start believing God is holding out on us. We notice someone else’s blessing and assume we’ve been overlooked.

I think Psalm 73 vividly illustrates this inner struggle. Asaph admits he was envious of the arrogant, saying, “I envied the wicked when I saw the prosperity of the wicked” (Psalm 73:3). His footing nearly faltered because he focused on what others possessed. But later in the psalm, he recognizes that the issue wasn’t God. It was his perspective. When he entered God’s presence, everything shifted. He remembered that God was his portion, his strength, and his future. Envy disappeared when he stopped fixating on others and began looking to God.

Paul shares another critical reminder. In 1 Corinthians 13:4, he states, “Love does not envy.” True love celebrates others' good fortune. It desires their growth. It refuses to see life as a competition. Envy contracts the heart. Love enlarges it.

Envy Inside the Church

Envy also appears within the church, among people who love the Lord and want to serve faithfully. Unfortunately, it appears among those who preach and teach as well. We don’t like to admit this, but it’s true, and it is one of the leading causes of brotherhood controversies today.

Paul faced this in his own work. In Philippians 1:15-17, he says, “Some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry.” Imagine that. Men standing in the pulpit, preaching the gospel, but driven by competition. They weren’t trying to build up the kingdom. They were trying to outdo Paul. The motives were wrong, even though the message was right.

That still happens. A preacher hears praise for another preacher and quietly resents it. Someone else gets an opportunity, and instead of rejoicing, we wonder why we weren’t chosen. Another congregation grows, and instead of celebrating their fruit, we feel insecure about our own work. Or worse yet, we decide to criticize the other work and even work to smear its reputation. Envy slips in, and the work becomes about us instead of the Lord.

James warns what this does to a church: “Where there is envy… there is disorder” (James 3:16). Envy never builds unity. It never encourages. It never strengthens the flock. It creates suspicion, comparison, and competition where there should be humility and love.

The truth is, the church is not a stage. Ministry is not a contest. The Lord distributes gifts as He wills (1 Corinthians 12:11). He places people where they can serve best. He opens and closes doors in His wisdom. And as Paul reminds us, “So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who gives the growth” (1 Corinthians 3:7).

Once we remember that, envy loses its power. Someone else’s success doesn’t threaten us. Someone else’s gift doesn’t diminish ours. Someone else’s opportunity doesn’t mean we’ve been forgotten. The goal is not to shine. The goal is to serve.

And when we start celebrating what God is doing in others, the whole church becomes healthier. Teachers encourage teachers. Preachers lift up preachers. Elders bless the work of other elders. Members rejoice when anyone in the body grows, succeeds, or blesses others. That’s how the kingdom is supposed to work.

So how do we fight envy?

First, be honest. To bring this silent sin into the light, we need to confess it. If you're feeling jealous, tell the Lord. He already knows. Ask Him to heal the parts of your heart that tighten when others receive good things.

Second, practice gratitude. Gratitude pulls our eyes back to God’s generosity. It keeps us aware of His daily mercies. It reminds us that He has not withheld His goodness from us. When Paul told the Thessalonians to “give thanks in everything” (1 Thessalonians 5:18), he was pointing to a discipline that protects the heart.

Third, trust the Father’s timing. Jesus said the Father delights to give good gifts to His children (Matthew 7:11). If something has not come yet, He has a reason. Trust doesn’t mean we stop desiring good things. It means we rest in God instead of competing with others.

The tranquil heart Solomon mentioned in Proverbs 14:30 is possible. Christ makes that possible. As you walk with Him today, let His peace replace comparison. Let His love drive out jealousy. Let His presence steady your heart. And let His grace undo the quiet poison of envy.

Scripture speaks plainly about the destructive power of gossip. Proverbs 18:6–8 warns, “A fool’s lips lead to strife… A gossip’s words are like choice food.” Proverbs 16:28 adds, “A gossip separates close friends.” These verses are not exaggerations. Many friendships, families, congregations, and the brotherhood have been damaged because someone repeated words that should never have been spoken.

Every one of us has been the target of gossip at some point. We know the sting. Words spread quickly, often twisted and enlarged. And once they spread, they are nearly impossible to pull back. This is why the Bible strongly condemns gossip. Scripture calls the gossiper a talebearer, whisperer, busybody, or slanderer. The New Testament tells Christians to put away falsehood (Ephesians 4:25). Sin does not travel alone, and gossip often walks beside strife, jealousy, and malice (2 Corinthians 12:20; Romans 1:29–30).

What Gossip Does

Gossip wounds people deeply. Psalm 41:7 describes how enemies whisper together, plotting harm against the one they talk about. Gossip may sound casual, but it is often intended to hurt. Psalm 56:5 says the thoughts behind such words are evil; they aim to damage another’s reputation, peace, or relationships.

Gossip also finds eager listeners. Proverbs says gossip is like “choice food”—tasty, tempting, and easy to swallow. The problem is not only with those who speak it, but also with those who crave it. Many enjoy hearing “some new thing,” especially when it concerns someone else’s trouble. We must guard our hearts. Delight in gossip is a sign of spiritual immaturity.

Gossip separates friends

Proverbs 17:9 teaches that love covers offenses, but gossip exposes them. Many relationships have been ruined by needless talk. Sometimes the wisest thing a person can do is say nothing.

Gossip sows strife

Proverbs 16:27 describes someone who “digs up evil,” a person who uncovers or exaggerates faults to stir trouble. Their words scorch and burn. They create problems with their tongues, and others pay the price.

Gossipers also fail to keep confidence

Proverbs 20:19 warns that a gossip reveals secrets. If someone says, “I’m telling you this in confidence…,” they have already broken trust. If they repeat someone else’s secret to you, they will repeat yours to someone else.

Worst of all, gossip destroys the soul of the one who spreads it. Proverbs 18:7 says a fool’s mouth becomes his own ruin. The very words meant to hurt others become the means of his own condemnation.

What Gossip Is Not

Not all conversations about others are sinful. We talk about people because we care, and many good works depend on sharing information. But talk becomes gossip when it becomes harsh, exaggerated, or careless—when we assume motives, enlarge details, or spice up information to make it more dramatic. Even truth can become sinful when used to harm.

Practical Help

Before repeating anything, stop and ask: Is it true? And what good will come from saying it? Will it help someone grow? Lead someone to repentance? Warn someone of danger? Allow someone to help? If the answer is no, the conversation should end with you.

A Better Way

Proverbs 26:20 reminds us that “without wood, fire goes out; without a gossip, conflict dies down.” Jesus warns that we will answer for every careless word (Matthew 12:36). Let’s make sure our words heal rather than harm—and let gossip die at our feet, not spread from our lips.

Bitterness is easy. All it takes is one harsh word, one betrayal, one political argument at the dinner table — and suddenly, the relationship is fractured. Our culture has normalized this. Cancel someone, cut them off, and move on. I saw a social post recently where someone said they had cut off family because of their views on climate change, politics, and religion. That kind of thinking is not rare. But is it Christlike?

The call of Jesus runs the opposite direction. He said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9). Paul urged, “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). And the Hebrew writer reminds us, “Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness — without it no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14).

Jesus disagreed with many people. He challenged the Pharisees, overturned tables in the temple, and exposed hypocrisy. But He never stopped loving. Even from the cross He prayed, “Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).

Bitterness grows when we equate disagreement with hate. That is the trap of our times. But the gospel calls us to something better: to love when it’s not returned, to bless when we are insulted, and to keep relationships open when the world says, “cut them off.”

How do we do this?

• Choose humility. Pride fuels bitterness. Humility opens the door to forgiveness (Philippians 2:3–5).

• Pray for those who oppose you. Jesus said to pray for your enemies (Matthew 5:44). Prayer reshapes your heart.

• Guard your heart. Hebrews 12:15 warns about a root of bitterness that can grow and defile many. Watch what you let take root.

• Focus on Christ’s example. He is our peace (Ephesians 2:14). His Spirit equips us to live differently.

Our world is divided enough. The church must be a different kind of community — one that refuses to cancel, one that seeks peace, and one that shines the light of Christ even in conflict.

Bitterness destroys. Peace builds. And Jesus has called us to be people of peace.

On this Mother’s Day weekend, we pause to honor the remarkable women of our lives who embody the heart of a godly mother. Their hard work, whether within the home or beyond, reflects a selfless commitment to the well-being of our husbands, children, and even those in need around them. We see your strength, grace, and tireless efforts, and we are deeply grateful for how you shape the next generation for Christ.

God has blessed me with three amazing women in our household. My wife, my mom, and Becky’s mom are outstanding examples of motherhood, godliness, and strength. Mothers, your value is immeasurable. You are the heartbeat of your families, faithfully loving and guiding your children, submitting to God’s design with humility, and reflecting His beauty in all you do. Your example inspires us all, reminding us that true fulfillment comes from living out God’s purpose for your life. On this Mother’s Day weekend, we celebrate you, not only for the sacrifices you make but also for the eternal impact of your faithful service. May you feel the love and appreciation of your families, and may God continue to bless you as you fulfill His calling.

Many women have done noble deeds, but you surpass them all! (Proverbs 31:29).

I spoke on Saturday morning about defining manhood from the biblical perspective. We had so many great comments that I did not finish all my notes. Today’s article provides an overview of what I planned to teach. I hope you enjoy it!

Brothers in Christ, today we’re diving deep into what it means to be a man according to God’s Word. In a world drowning in confusion about masculinity—where society either vilifies or waters down what it means to be a man—the Bible stands as our unshakable anchor. Biblical manhood isn’t about flexing power or chasing fleeting pleasures. It’s about responsibility, humility, strength, and godly leadership. It’s about reflecting Christ in a culture that desperately needs men to step up.

Manhood is in crisis. A recent Chattanooga Times Free Press article paints a grim picture—71% of college dropouts are men. Young guys are walking away from education, weighed down by debt, disillusioned by impractical ideologies, and unsure how a degree fits into real life. But the problem cuts deeper than classrooms. We’re seeing what some call “perpetual adolescence”—men in their 20s and 30s stuck in virtual worlds, battling porn addiction, and drifting without purpose. Historically, men stepped into adulthood by taking on responsibility: running farms, fighting for their people, or forging their paths. Today? Too many are coasting, avoiding the call to lead.

This isn’t just a societal issue—it’s hitting the church hard. When men disengage, families falter, and churches weaken. We need men who aren’t just present but engaged—leading their homes, serving as deacons or elders, and teaching the next generation. The world’s low expectations—telling us masculinity is “harmful” or that we’re victims—don’t align with God’s design. Scripture calls us higher.

The Biblical Blueprint: Fortitude in Action

So, what does God say about manhood? In 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 Paul writes: “Be alert, stand firm in the faith, be courageous, be strong. Do everything in love.” This is a battle cry for fortitude. This isn’t just physical toughness; it’s soul-deep resilience. It’s courage to face danger, conviction to stand for truth, and strength to endure hardship—all wrapped in love.

God’s man is a protector, a provider, a leader. He doesn’t dominate; he serves. He doesn’t shrink back; he steps up. Whether it’s shielding your family from spiritual attacks, providing wisdom in your church, or leading with integrity at work, biblical manhood is about owning the roles God entrusted to you. And it starts with fortitude—gutsy faith that doesn’t flinch.

The Crisis We Face

The enemy is working overtime to keep men down. Dr. Dan Kiley nailed it in 1983 with his book Peter Pan Syndrome—men who never grow up. Forty years later, it’s worse. Absent fathers, a victimhood culture, and voices screaming that traits like courage and strength are toxic have left guys adrift. The American Psychological Association even called traditional masculinity “harmful.”1 No wonder so many men feel lost, unsure of how to act or lead.

This drift shows up in our homes and pews. Men wrestling with secret sins, financial chaos, or disengagement from their kids aren’t just struggling—they’re leaving a void. Poor leadership at home bleeds into the church, where we desperately need men of conviction to step into the gap. Brothers, the bar’s been lowered too long. It’s time to raise it.

Four Ways to Rise Up

God’s Word doesn’t leave us guessing. Here’s how we break free from the status quo and live as men of fortitude:

1. Be Courageous
   Deuteronomy 31:6 tells us, “Be strong and courageous… for the Lord your God goes with you.” Like Joshua facing the Promised Land, we’ve got daunting tasks—leading a family and standing for truth in a hostile world. Courage isn’t reckless; it’s trusting God’s got your back. Step into the fight, knowing He’s with you.

2. Hold Your Convictions
   A godly man doesn’t bend when the heat’s on. Ephesians 6:11-13 calls us to suit up with God’s armor and stand firm. Money, status, or approval might tempt you to compromise, but convictions rooted in Scripture don’t budge. Protect your family, uphold God’s principles—be unshakable.

3. Reject Sin
   Psalm 15 paints the picture: a man of integrity lives blamelessly and keeps his word, no matter the cost. Don’t tolerate sin—not in yourself, not around you. Set the standard high. Your life’s a witness; make it count.

4. Lead with Integrity and Love
   Paul ties it all together in 1 Corinthians 16:13-14—strength and courage, yes, but always in love. Society is crumbling because men have lost their spines. Lead your wife with humility, guide your kids with wisdom, and serve your church with grit. Psalm 27:14 says it best: “Be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord.”

Steps to Live It Out

Here’s how we put boots on this calling:

• Own It: Take responsibility for your actions—especially where God’s called you to lead. No more passivity.

• Check Yourself: Look in the mirror. Are you aligning with God’s Word? Examine your leadership daily.

• Build Fortitude: Face challenges head-on. Start small—speak the truth when it’s tough—and watch God grow your resilience.

• Stay True: Don’t waver on what’s right. Integrity is your legacy.

• Lead with Heart: Serve your people—your wife, kids, church. Meet their needs with compassion.

• Grow Deep: Get on your knees in prayer, open your Bible, and connect with brothers who will sharpen you.

• Mentor the Next: Model this for younger men. Show them what godly masculinity looks like.

The Charge

Biblical manhood is about honoring God. It means leading humbly, protecting fiercely, and serving selflessly. Whether you’re a husband, father, or single guy, God is calling you to reflect His strength and love. This isn’t a one-and-done deal; it’s a daily grind of leaning into His grace.

Take a hard look at your walk with God. Where’s He calling you to step up? Start today—pray, dig into Scripture, and lead by example. The church needs you. Your family needs you. The world needs men who live God’s way.

Let’s commit to this: being men of fortitude, integrity, and faith. Let’s be the leaders God designed us to be.

How are you embracing biblical manhood today? Drop a comment—I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Paul gives us a beautiful description of love in action in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. He writes:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

This passage reveals the qualities of love that should define every area of our life. Love is not self-centered or prideful; it is not about demanding our way or seeking recognition. Instead, it is humble, patient, kind, and generous. As Christians, we must demonstrate these qualities in our relationships with others.

In 1 Timothy 6, Paul calls on Timothy to express a humble, selfless love indifferent to personal gain or satisfaction and absent of ambition. It is devotion to the well-being of the one loved. It is being concerned about their blessing and good.

The Hard Work of Love

Loving others is not always easy. As Paul encourages Timothy in 1 Timothy 6:11, love is a commitment that requires hard work, sacrifice, and endurance. True love often means putting others’ needs before our own, sacrificing our time, comfort, and even our rights for the sake of others. Love means forgiving those who hurt us, serving those who cannot repay us, and standing up for what is right, even when it’s difficult.

Will we stoop to the most menial of activities to serve? We can also refer to the principle of Matthew 18:6. We love others by never being a source of temptation for someone else, never leading them into sin, never being a bad example, and failing to instruct them on the righteous path.

In 2 Corinthians 12:15, Paul expresses his readiness to spend and be spent for the sake of the Corinthian church. This kind of love requires sacrifice and suffering, and it is the hallmark of a person who is genuinely committed to the well-being of others.

Cultivating Love in Your Life

Cultivating the type of love described in Scripture—agape love—requires intentional effort and daily practice. This selfless, sacrificial love does not occur naturally; it must be nurtured through a heart transformed by Christ and a commitment to apply His teachings in every aspect of life. Here are some practical ways to develop this kind of love:

First, prioritize your relationship with God. True love begins with understanding God's love for us. Regular Bible study, prayer, and reflection on passages like John 13:34-35 and 1 Corinthians 13 help us grasp the depth of God's love and how we are to extend it to others. Meditate on Christ’s sacrifice and how He consistently demonstrated love, even in the face of rejection and suffering. The more we immerse ourselves in God’s love, the more we are empowered to share that love with others.

Next, practice humility and service. Love, as Jesus demonstrated, is inseparable from service. In John 13, Jesus washed His disciples' feet, modeling how leadership is rooted in humble service. Look for practical ways to serve others in your daily life—whether it’s helping your spouse with household chores, engaging with your children’s spiritual development, or volunteering for tasks at church that often go unnoticed. Service shifts our focus away from ourselves and toward the needs of others, allowing love to grow naturally.

Forgiveness is another essential component of love. Agape love does not hold grudges or keep a record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5). Make it a habit to forgive others, even when it's difficult. This may require you to let go of bitterness and pride, choosing instead to show grace and understanding. Remember, we forgive not because others always deserve it, but because God has forgiven us. Pray for those who have hurt you, and trust God to heal your heart as you release resentment.

Additionally, cultivate patience and kindness in your daily interactions. Love is patient and kind, as Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 13:4. This means being slow to anger, quick to listen, and gentle in your responses. In moments of frustration—whether with a spouse, child, coworker, or fellow believer—pause and pray for God's help to respond with grace. Patience and kindness create a safe, nurturing environment in which relationships can flourish.

Lead your family with intentional love. Show your family what it means to love sacrificially by putting their needs ahead of yours. Teach your children how to resolve conflicts with grace, how to serve others with joy, and how to love God wholeheartedly.

In the church, demonstrate love through active participation and encouragement. Love is seen when we bear one another's burdens, rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep (Galatians 6:2; Romans 12:15). Look for opportunities to encourage others—write a note of appreciation, pray for a struggling brother or sister, or offer help to someone in need.

Love also extends beyond the walls of the home and church into the community. Jesus calls us to love not only our friends but also our enemies (Matthew 5:44-45). Show love in your community by being honest, compassionate, and generous. Look for ways to help neighbors, volunteer in community projects, and represent Christ in your daily interactions. When people see your consistent, selfless love, they are more likely to be curious about the God you serve.

Finally, rely on the Holy Spirit to cultivate this love within you. Galatians 5:22 reminds us that love is the first fruit of the Spirit. Pray regularly for the Spirit’s help in developing a heart of love. Ask God to give you eyes to see others as He sees them and a heart that genuinely desires their good. Remember that growth in love is a process, and God is faithful in completing the work He begins in us.

Conclusion

In summary, cultivating this kind of love demands a daily commitment to walk with Christ, serve others selflessly, forgive generously, and lead with compassion. As you pursue love in these practical ways, your life will reflect Christ's heart and attract others to the power of the gospel.

Have you ever struggled to forgive someone who hurt you? True character is revealed not in our successes but in how we handle offenses. Forgiveness reflects God’s nature.

But yet, in practice, we often find it very difficult. It challenges our natural emotions, sense of justice, and instincts of self-protection.

Forgiveness is Hard

When someone deeply wounds us, the pain doesn’t simply fade away. Emotional scars can linger, making it difficult to let go of resentment. Forgiveness may feel like minimizing the hurt or pretending that it never happened. However, true forgiveness doesn’t deny the pain—it acknowledges the hurt while choosing not to be controlled by it. Healing takes time, and forgiveness is often a process rather than a single moment.

There is also our innate sense of fairness, and when we are wronged, we naturally want justice. Sometimes, this desire turns into a longing for revenge, as we feel that forgiving someone lets them “off the hook.” However, forgiveness does not mean there are no consequences for wrongdoing. Instead, it means releasing our right to seek revenge and trusting God to bring justice in His perfect way and timing (Romans 12:19).

We also have to deal with pride, which can be a significant barrier to forgiveness. When we have been wronged, our ego may resist letting go because it feels like losing or admitting defeat. We may think, “Why should I be the one to forgive? They should come to me first!” However, forgiveness is not about proving who is right—it’s about choosing peace over pride. Humbling ourselves to forgive does not make us weak; it reflects our character's strength and willingness to follow Christ’s example.

One of the most challenging situations is when the person who hurt us does not acknowledge their wrongdoing. We may feel that forgiveness is only possible if the offender apologizes first. However, waiting for an apology gives them power over our emotions. Forgiveness is a personal decision to free ourselves from bitterness, regardless of whether the other person repents. Jesus forgave those who crucified Him, even though they had not asked for it (Luke 23:34).

Many people hesitate to forgive because they fear being vulnerable to more pain. They may believe that forgiveness requires restoring the relationship precisely as before, which is not always wise or safe. Forgiveness and trust are not the same thing. While we are called to forgive, we can also set healthy boundaries to protect ourselves. True forgiveness releases resentment, but it does not mean tolerating ongoing harm.

Many people resist forgiveness because they misunderstand its meaning. Forgiveness does not mean excusing or justifying the wrong, forgetting what happened, or allowing someone to continue mistreating us. It is not about denying justice but about entrusting justice to God. When we forgive, we release bitterness and refuse to let the offense define us. Instead of being weighed down by anger, we step into the freedom and peace that God offers.

When We Forgive, We are at Our Best

If you want to see a person in their best character, it is seen when they forgive. A person’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense, Proverbs 19.11. When we choose to forgive, we reflect the character of God, who forgives iniquity and delights in unfailing love, Micah 7.18. It is in the heart of God to forgive, and it is this type of heart He calls on us to develop. Paul says it this way in Colossians 3.13:

Bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive.

How eager should we be to forgive others if we have been forgiven of everything? We must learn to forgive because people will need it. We are all human and prone to weakness and mistakes.

While forgiveness is a personal choice, reconciliation involves action. In Matthew 5:25-26, Jesus emphasizes the urgency of making things right with others.

Matters of Reconciliation are Urgent

Settle quickly with your adversary while you’re on the way with him to the court, or your adversary will hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you will be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will never get out of there until you have paid the last penny, Matthew 5.25-26.

Make things right as soon as possible. Time is always moving forward. Days turn into weeks, and weeks into years. Life is fragile. You never know when your life will end… or the other person's life.

As we go through life, God requires us to consider our relationships with others. Is there bad blood? Are things not as they should be? The emphasis is on settling them immediately. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, and Jesus emphasizes that you do not want to enter judgment like that. The time for reconciliation is always now.

Conclusion

As disciples of Jesus, we are called to love, forgive, and reconcile. Forgiveness is not just an option—it is a command. Don't let anger take root. Instead, follow Christ's example and choose love, reconciliation, and peace.

So:

• Take the initiative in reconciliation. Reach out with a phone call, a letter, or an in-person conversation to heal the relationship.

• Be willing to forgive, as you have been forgiven.

• Pray for the one who has wronged you. Ask God to soften your heart and give you the strength to see the other person through His eyes.

• Focus on something besides the problem that derailed your relationship.

Practice brotherly love … and keep no record of wrongs suffered.

Consider the following passages:

• Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind, 1 Peter 3:8. We need to share the same passions. Our craving to be like our Savior and Father should imprint on us a mutuality of concern for one another because of our common fervency for God’s redemptive rule. To get through, we have to stand together!

• Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body,” Hebrews 13:3.

• Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor, 1 Corinthians 10:24.

• If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together, 1 Corinthians 12:26.

The Challenge of Compassion

Empathy is not always easy. When our troubles weigh us down, it can be tempting to turn inward and focus only on ourselves. Thoughts like, “I have enough problems of my own” or “What can I really do to help?” can keep us from stepping into another person’s pain. Worse still, there is sometimes a tendency to distance ourselves from those suffering because we believe their hardships are self-inflicted. But true compassion does not judge—it simply loves.

A Biblical Example: Job’s Friends

The story of Job is one of extreme loss and suffering. When his friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar, heard of his suffering, they came to him. Their initial response was not to offer explanations or solutions but to be present. They wept with him. They sat beside him silently for seven days and nights, recognizing that his sorrow was too deep for words (Job 2:11-13).

There is a powerful lesson here: sometimes, the best way to comfort someone is simply to be there. In moments of great sorrow, words can feel empty, but presence speaks volumes. A listening ear, a shared silence, or a compassionate embrace can bring more healing than any well-intended advice ever could.

Living Out Compassion

The Bible is full of examples of empathy and kindness. David, in Psalm 35:13-14, describes how he mourned for others as if they were his own family, showing that true love for others is not selective. The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37) is another example, demonstrating selfless compassion even for a stranger in need. Jesus Himself embodied perfect empathy, as seen when He wept at the tomb of His friend Lazarus (John 11:33-36).

Compassion is not just a feeling—it is an action. It requires us to step into another’s pain, make their struggles our own, and offer comfort, even when it is inconvenient. It reflects God’s love in us, and through it, we become His hands and feet to those who are hurting.

The Ripple Effect of Empathy

When we extend true compassion, the impact is profound:

• For the Giver – Walking with others in their suffering humbles us and reminds us of our dependence on God. It fosters gratitude for His sustaining grace and helps us see beyond our struggles.

• For the Receiver – A shared burden feels lighter. Knowing that someone cares can bring hope and healing in the midst of pain.

• For the Church and the World – The world takes notice when Christians genuinely love and care for one another. Jesus said that love would be the defining mark of His followers (John 13:35). When people see Christians rejoicing with those who rejoice and weeping with those who weep, it is a testimony of God’s love at work.

A Call to Action

Who in your life is hurting right now? Is there someone who needs a listening ear, a helping hand, or simply your presence? Maybe it's a grieving friend, a struggling coworker, or even a stranger needing kindness. Take a moment today to step outside of yourself and enter into their world.

Empathy is a language that everyone understands. It transcends words and speaks directly to the heart. As we choose to love deeply, to share in both joys and sorrows and to bear one another’s burdens, we become living reflections of God’s grace.

May we be known not just for what we believe but for how we love. We stand together … to survive.

[1] Garrett, Linda. “Love Divided Against Itself?” Bible Study Magazine. Page 6. Volume 9, No. 5, July/August 2017.

Our son Zack married a wonderful woman from southeastern Kentucky on Friday. We’re so proud of him and so blessed to welcome his new wife, Tamera, into our family. I was privileged to do the wedding ceremony. I’ve done plenty of weddings over the 29+ years of my preaching career. But this one was different—so many emotions. There are many pleasant memories of raising Zackary, and I am continually amazed at how fast it has all gone. I spent a few moments wishing I could have some of the time back — and all the days I took for granted. And yes, a few tears were shed. I love my son so much.

Zack moved to middle Tennessee 2 years ago. It was one of the best decisions he made to that point. It forced him to grow up in many ways and be completely self-sufficient. It allowed him to develop his own faith apart from ours. And grow and mature he has! I have watched from afar and been so proud to see him mature into Christ and become a young spiritual leader. I love that he is leading a small group of his peers on Wednesday nights. People respect Zack for his honesty, care, and matter-of-fact approach.

Yesterday, I wrote him a letter and praised God for bringing another special person to Zack, who would complete him in every way. For this, Becky and I are truly thankful, for more than anything, we have desired that Zack find a godly woman who will be his partner in getting him to heaven.

Here is part of my wedding sermon from last night:

In marriage, the roles God ordained for a man and a woman carry profound significance, mirroring the divine relationship between Christ and His Church. God’s blueprint lays out a path of mutual submission and leadership rooted in love, sacrifice, and a relentless pursuit of holiness. Embracing these roles is a formidable challenge in any time and culture because it is far beyond the reach of our flawed human nature and power. For it to work, both husband and wife must rely entirely on the Lord — who will, by His Spirit, provide the strength and power to be what God has called them to be.

For Zack:

Zack, as you step into the role of a husband, you're called to mirror the love and leadership of Jesus towards His Church. This love transcends all dimensions, marked by an unwavering commitment to sacrifice. Your daily task is to nurture Tamera's spiritual growth, guiding her closer to God, with the ultimate goal of leading her to heaven. Your journey together is contingent on your spiritual health. Let your love for the Lord fuel your leadership, keeping the flame of your devotion bright. Remember, Tamera is not just a companion but a divine gift to help you find your greatest satisfaction in God.

For Tamera:

Tamera, your role reflects the Church's submission to Christ. This involves a joyful readiness to follow Zack's leadership, rooted in a mutual understanding of your equal standing before God. Embracing this role is not about diminishing your value but glorifying God through your marriage's unique dynamics. Your dedication to Zack is also a pathway to heaven, a mutual journey of spiritual upliftment. Walking with God, your submission becomes fertile ground for growth, blooming into a relationship that flourishes under His grace.

For You Both:

As you both embark on this journey, set your sights on achieving greatness for God through your union. The path ahead is challenging as marriage becomes a battleground against forces seeking to diminish its glory. Yet, with Christ's victory as your banner, your marriage is a testament to His enduring love and power.

Four Principles Which Build a Lasting Marriage

Pursue Holiness

Above all, strive for holiness, for it is in holiness that true happiness and the essence of marriage are found. Zack, Tamera's spiritual growth hinges on your holiness. Tamera, Zack's journey towards God is similarly dependent on yours. Together, chase after the holiness that reveals God's presence and solidifies the joy in your marriage.

Seek Wisdom

Wisdom is your guiding light in the beauty of your covenant. Just as Solomon sought wisdom to lead, so must you seek divine wisdom to navigate the complexities of married life. Hidden in Christ, wisdom springs from a deep reverence for God—seek it diligently.

Embrace Humility

Pride, the adversary's preferred weapon, can only be defeated by humility. In humility, value each other above yourselves, embodying the mindset of Christ. This selflessness is the foundation of a marriage that reflects God's love.

Cultivate Joy

Let joy in God be the wellspring of your happiness. As sin and Satan conspire to dull your affection for one another, a steadfast joy in God will keep your love vibrant and enduring. In this joy, your marriage becomes a melody of love that glorifies God.

The journey you are beginning is one of divine calling, requiring a daily commitment to die to yourselves and live for each other in Christ. Through the challenges and victories, may your union forever stand as a testimony of God's grace, a living example of His perfect design for marriage.