Conversations about grace often get heated among brethren.
When some of us examine the consequences of a works-based perspective, critics sometimes respond, No one is teaching that people can earn their way to heaven. And on that point, I agree. I have never heard anyone openly claim that salvation can be earned. That is not usually what is said, and it is not what most intend.
But intention and effect are not the same thing.
My concern is not about what is explicitly denied, but about what is practically produced. Teaching can affirm grace in language while still shaping people toward self-reliance in practice. Over time, the message people absorb is that they are largely on their own. Growth depends on discipline. Assurance depends on consistency. The Spirit is acknowledged, but functionally reduced to words on a page rather than a living, active presence.
Yet our Bible consistently presents the Christian life as one of dependence, not self-sufficiency.
“Remain in me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, neither can you unless you remain in me” (John 15:4).
My observations are not an accusation of bad motives. Rather, they are a concern for spiritual outcomes. And it is why this conversation is important.
The Soil Where Fear Grows
Fear and self-reliance often grow in the same soil.
When we live under constant pressure to perform, fear quietly takes root. Fear of failing. Fear of slipping. Fear of not measuring up. The natural response to fear is control. We tighten our grip. We work harder. We rely on ourselves.
But the Word points in a different direction:
“This one thing I ask of the Lord… to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life” (Psalm 27:4).
Dependence, not performance, is what God invites.
Self-reliance is not usually preached outright. It is formed slowly.
When faithfulness is measured mainly by consistency, precision, and visible success, people learn to trust their habits more than their Savior. Grace may still be affirmed, but it becomes background noise. What carries the real weight is performance.
Paul warned against this:
“After beginning by the Spirit, are you now finishing by the flesh?” (Galatians 3:3).
And performance always turns the heart inward.
Two Very Different Perspectives
Self-reliance begins with the question, “Am I doing enough?” Dependence on Jesus begins with the confession, “I cannot do this without Him.” That difference reshapes everything.
Self-reliance looks inward for assurance. It checks progress. It counts victories. It quietly panics when weakness shows up. Dependence on Jesus looks outward and upward. It rests not in personal momentum, but in the finished work and ongoing presence of Christ.
“We have this confidence in him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us” (1 John 5:14).
Self-reliance treats obedience as a way to stay secure. Dependence on Jesus treats obedience as a response to security already given.
“There is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).
Self-reliance hides weakness. Failure feels dangerous because it threatens standing. Dependence on Jesus brings weakness into the light, because mercy is not in short supply.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Why Fear Persists
This is why fear thrives in self-reliant faith. When acceptance feels fragile, fear becomes constant. Prayer becomes cautious. Confession becomes vague. Joy fades. People keep serving, but they are tired inside. Faithful, but anxious. Obedient, but restless. Yet Scripture connects peace directly to trust.
“You will keep the mind that is dependent on you in perfect peace, for it is trusting in you” (Isaiah 26:3).
And slowly, Christ is displaced. Not denied. Not rejected. Just functionally sidelined. Jesus becomes the one who made salvation possible, while we are expected to make it work. But that is not the gospel.
What Grace Actually Produces
The gospel does not train us to trust ourselves. It trains us to depend. Grace does not weaken obedience. It relocates its source.
“For it is God who is working in you both to will and to work according to his good purpose” (Philippians 2:13).
We obey because we are secure, not to become secure. We serve from gratitude, not fear. We persevere by trust, not by tightening our grip. Self-reliance says, “I will do better.” Dependence on Jesus says, “Lord, have mercy and lead me.” One perspective produces pressure. The other produces peace.
From Fear to Faith
Our life as a Christian is not a journey toward spiritual independence. It is a journey away from it. Faith is not learning how to stand on your own. Faith is learning, again and again, to lean your full weight on Christ.
“I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God” (Galatians 2:20).
He did not save you so you could graduate into self-reliance. He saved you so you will live by trust. And trust, by definition, is the refusal to rely on ourselves. That is where fear loosens its grip and rest begins.
A Gentle Invitation
Grace-centered teaching is not a call to abandon obedience. It is a call to relocate our trust.
Your spiritual life was never meant to be sustained by sheer effort or quiet determination. God did not rescue you only to leave you managing your own spiritual survival. From beginning to end, the life of faith is lived in dependence. Daily. Honestly. Humbly.
That means learning to bring your weaknesses to light instead of hiding them. It means praying before panic sets in. It means trusting Christ not only for forgiveness, but for strength, direction, and endurance. Self-reliance promises control, but it cannot deliver peace. Dependence on Jesus feels risky, but it leads to rest.
So this is the invitation:
Loosen your grip.
Stop measuring yourself by progress charts and spiritual checklists.
Come back to trust.
“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
That is not just how the Christian life begins. It is how it is meant to be lived.
Excellent thoughts. What we functionally preach is just as important if not more important. I think deep down inside sadly some just don’t have the faith to trust God in this way and want to retain control. I very much can sympathize with this but it’s a losing battle. That path of self reliance ends in either arrogance or despair. But thanks be to God sometimes reaching those ends wakes us up to the true peace that’s found in Gods grace.
This is a keenly insightful article. Thank you. Please see my long comment on your recent message about “Grace is the foundation of our salvation, not the finish line.” The problem isn’t merely human nature. It’s a theological misconception that many Christians of many different brands and styles (including “churches of Christ “) have inadvertently and in a conflicted way been taught and continue to teach. In my comment I describe the theological adjustment that I humbly suggest is necessary to effectively address this seemingly intractable self-reliance. Grace cannot be grace when it is placed behind the goalpost of obedience. I think you are already tracking with that.