Have you ever been in a conversation where someone said, “I’m just being honest,” right before saying something harsh? Honesty is important. But honesty without love can do more harm than good.
The apostle Paul wrote,
“But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head—Christ.”
(Ephesians 4:15)
That verse brings together two things that are often torn apart: truth and love. Both are necessary if we’re going to look like Jesus.
Truth Without Love Becomes Brutality
Some Christians are bold defenders of truth, and that’s good. Scripture must be honored. Sin must be named. But when truth is spoken with anger or pride, it wounds rather than heals.
Paul said our words should be gracious and seasoned with salt (Colossians 4:6). Salt preserves and enhances the flavor of food. In the same way, our words should make truth easier to receive. Harsh truth may win an argument, but it rarely wins a heart.
John 1:14 tells us Jesus came “full of grace and truth.” He never compromised either. He told the truth about sin to the Samaritan woman (John 4), but He did it gently, offering living water instead of condemnation. His goal wasn’t to embarrass her; it was to redeem her.
Love Without Truth Becomes Hypocrisy
On the other hand, some of us want to be so loving that we avoid saying anything hard. We don’t want to upset anyone, so we stay quiet when sin or error needs to be addressed.
That isn’t love. That’s fear. Real love tells the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. Proverbs 27:6 says, “The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.”
When you love someone, you want what’s best for them. And what’s best is always the truth of God’s word; even when it stings.
Contempt Corrupts Truth
When conflict arises, contempt is often what ruins good intentions. We can say all the right things in all the wrong ways. We can defend the faith, but we may lose our brother in the process.
Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:44-45 challenge that spirit:
“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven.”
Even if the person you’re correcting isn’t an enemy, that’s how you must speak: with love, prayer, and respect. The one you disagree with is not your adversary. He’s your brother … a soul Christ died to save.
When we forget that, truth becomes a weapon instead of a bridge.
How to Speak Truth in Love
Pray First.
Before you speak, ask God to guard your heart and guide your words (Psalm 19:14). If you can’t pray for the person you’re about to talk to, you’re not ready to talk.Be Gentle.
“A gentle answer turns away anger” (Proverbs 15:1). You can be firm and still be kind.Stay Humble.
“Watch yourself, so that you also won’t be tempted” (Galatians 6:1). Remember, you need grace too.Aim for Restoration, Not Victory.
You’re not trying to win an argument … you’re trying to win your brother (Matthew 18:15).
When we speak truth in love, we help one another grow “into Him who is the head—Christ.” We become more like Jesus, bold in conviction, gentle in spirit, and full of grace.
Closing Reflection
Every disagreement gives us a choice: speak to prove a point or speak to show love. The first tears people down. The second builds them up.
When we learn to speak truth in love, we begin to sound like our Father. Truth calls us higher; love keeps us close. Both are essential if we’re going to reflect Christ.
Tomorrow’s Post:
We’ll examine the other half of communication—learning to listen before speaking.
