The response to yesterday’s article definitely touched a nerve. I heard from brethren all over the country, thanking me for it. We have a lot of work to do if we want to find success in adjusting to the current culture and relating to people where they are emotionally and spiritually. Thank you for all your encouragement!
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A growing number of younger Christians, especially Gen Z and millennials, are slipping quietly out of the church. Some leave after high school. Others drift during college. Some stay physically present but feel spiritually disconnected. There are many reasons behind this, but one thing is clear: the solutions must begin inside the local congregation.
We cannot wait for “the church everywhere” to fix this. It has to happen here. In our local body. By our members, leaders, and families. If we want younger Christians to stay, the local church must take intentional steps to become a place where they can grow, belong, and serve.
Here are practical things that must take root in the local congregation, and things we must take the initiative to do.
Build genuine relationships inside the church
Younger Christians stay where they feel known and loved. This requires action, not passive hope. Paul says, “Let love be without hypocrisy” (Romans 12:9).
Parents, elders, deacons, and members must reach out, invite young people into their lives, talk to them, listen to them, and invest time in them. Authentic relationships rarely happen by accident. They happen because someone decides, “I’m going to make the first move.”
Create an atmosphere where questions can be safely asked
Young Christians carry doubts and challenges. Jude says, “Have mercy on those who waver” (Jude 22).
This kind of environment doesn’t just appear. Bible class teachers, parents, elders, and mature Christians must intentionally make room for questions, patiently guide discussions, and avoid shutting people down.
If we don’t create a culture of patient listening at the local level, young Christians will find someone else who will.
Model a Christlike faith that is lived—not just talked about
Younger Christians want to see older Christians live what they teach. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35).
At one time or another, we’ve all fallen to the sin of hypocrisy. Hypocrisy in the local congregation is devastating. Christlike behavior is powerful. Leadership, parents, and members must take responsibility to model humility, integrity, and love. The next generation is watching us closely.
Give younger Christians meaningful roles in the congregation
Young people stay when they feel needed. Paul told Timothy, “Let no one despise your youth” (1 Timothy 4:12).
Local churches must give them real work to do, such as helping with worship, teaching, service projects, technology, outreach, and mentoring kids. Someone must invite them into these roles. Someone must encourage them. This does not happen unless the older ones take the initiative.
Build intergenerational relationships—not silos
The local congregation should feel like a family, not isolated age groups. Titus 2:2-6 shows older and younger Christians building each other up.
Parents, older members, and leaders must intentionally bring generations together. Invite a young family to lunch. Encourage a teen. Pair kids with adults in service projects. Intergenerational fellowship doesn’t “happen, ” it is built.
Make the church a refuge from conflict—not another battlefield
One thing we cannot overlook is how exhausted younger Christians already are from conflict. Their world is full of it. They see conflict on social media, in politics, in sports, at school, and in their friendships. Many live under constant pressure to take sides and defend every opinion. The last place they expect, or want to see more conflict is inside the church.
Scripture calls us to peace: “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). The local congregation should be the one place in their week where they feel safe, welcomed, and at rest. When the church becomes another source of drama or division, young believers quietly shut down.
Leaders must turn their attention back to the flock
Another reality we must face is this: if some of our leaders would step away from brotherhood conflicts and invest their energy in the people in their own local congregations, we might begin to reverse the trend. Too many elders, deacons, preachers, and teachers spend more time engaging in online debates, defending positions, or fighting distant battles than they do building relationships with the souls right in front of them.
Many have deep relationships within their peer group, but almost none with the teenagers, young adults, new Christians, or struggling families in their own auditorium. That has to change. Shepherds must smell like sheep. Preachers must know their people. Leaders must love their flock more than they love winning arguments. When leaders turn their hearts toward the individuals God has placed in their care, younger Christians notice, and they stay.
For most of my life, I have heard warnings that the church must focus on “spiritual things, not social things.” I understand the concern. Yes, there is a danger when churches become nothing more than social clubs where fellowship replaces discipleship. But in many conservative congregations, this fear has swung the pendulum too far in the other direction. Many are so afraid of doing something wrong that they end up doing nothing at all. And the result is predictable: the only interaction people have with one another happens in a 45-minute Bible class lecture and a few minutes of small talk after services.
That is not the kind of fellowship the New Testament describes. The spiritual is inseparably linked with the relational. Jesus built His church to be a family, not an audience. If we never spend time together outside the building, sharing meals, talking, praying, serving, laughing, then we cannot expect meaningful relationships to grow. And without meaningful relationships, younger Christians will not stay. They need a church that invests in them beyond the pew.
This needs to be encouraged across the board inside the local church.
Practice humility when we fail—starting with us
James says, “Confess your sins to one another” (James 5:16).
Local churches stay healthy when the adults model humility. Elders, parents, and teachers set the tone. Younger Christians are more likely to stay when they see us owning our mistakes, seeking reconciliation, and choosing gentleness over pride.
Keep the congregation's focus on Jesus
Hebrews calls us to “keep our eyes on Jesus” (Hebrews 12:2).
Local churches can get distracted by internal tension or personality conflicts. But leaders and members must guard the congregation’s tone and direction. When Jesus is central, His mission, His love, His humility, younger Christians find hope and direction.
A Call to Action
If younger Christians are going to stay, the change must start with us, in our congregation, in our homes, and in our circles.
Parents must reach out, speak up, and encourage involvement.
Elders must shepherd intentionally and relationally.
Teachers must create safe spaces for questions.
Members must build friendships beyond their comfort zones.
Leaders must invest more in their own flock than in online battles.
All of us must treat younger believers as essential parts of the body, not accessories. I’ve held several meetings around the country over the last 5 years where the congregation has literally no children. All the classrooms are empty. It breaks my heart. If you have younger people in your congregation, treat it as a blessing and use it for the glory of God.
Young Christians are not impossible to reach. They are simply looking for a local church that looks like Jesus.
And the good news is: we can become that church if we take the initiative to start.
Loved this "Leaders must turn their attention back to the flock". One of my favorite quotes on pastoral leadership is "A shepherd should smell like sheep".