We’ve spent this week looking at sins we often overlook: envy, white lies, grumbling, pride, and now unforgiveness. These aren’t the loud sins. They don’t attract attention. But they shape the heart in ways we can’t ignore. And today’s sin may be the most hidden and most destructive of all.
Ephesians 4:31–32 says, “Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.”
Unforgiveness is the slow buildup of injury, disappointment, and hurt, stored, replayed, and guarded. It starts small. A comment. A slight. A betrayal. A wound we didn’t expect. Instead of releasing it, we hold it. We replay the offense. We tighten our grip on the memory. And the longer we hold it, the heavier it becomes.
Scripture warns that this is not a small matter.
Hebrews 12:15 says, “See to it… that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble.” Unforgiveness always grows roots. It spreads. It reaches into places we didn’t intend. It begins with one person, but soon it affects our relationships, our outlook, and even our worship.
Jesus addressed this head-on.
In Matthew 6:14-15 He said, “If you forgive others… your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you don’t forgive, your Father will not forgive your offenses.” That is not hyperbole. Jesus ties our willingness to forgive directly to our understanding of God’s forgiveness toward us.
Why?
Because unforgiveness shrinks our view of grace.
It puts us in the judge’s seat.
It convinces us that others’ sins are heavier than ours.
It blinds us to the mercy we ourselves need.
Peter once asked Jesus, “How many times shall I forgive? Seven times?” (Matthew 18:21). Peter thought he was being generous. Jesus responded, “Seventy times seven.” The point wasn’t math. The point was character. A forgiven person becomes a forgiving person.
Unforgiveness in the Church
This sin is quiet, but its effects inside the church are not.
A member avoids another member.
A hurt from years ago gets brought up again.
A conflict never resolved becomes a wall.
A wound in leadership breeds suspicion.
A broken relationship quietly drains the spirit of worship.
Jesus warned us about this too. In Matthew 5:23-24 He said that if you come to worship and remember that your brother has something against you, “leave your gift” and make it right. Reconciliation mattered more to Jesus than ritual. A church can’t thrive when members carry unspoken grudges.
Too often this plays out in congregations:
Unforgiveness spreads.
It colors the way people view decisions, sermons, ministries, and relationships.
It magnifies small problems and keeps healing from taking root.
How Do We Release the Record?
1. Remember how God forgave you.
Paul says forgive “as God also forgave you in Christ.”
He forgave fully. Willingly. At great cost. Before you cleaned up. Before you deserved it.
2. Acknowledge the hurt honestly.
Forgiveness is not pretending something didn’t happen.
It is choosing not to become chained to it.
3. Refuse to rehearse the offense.
The more we replay the injury, the deeper the bitterness grows.
Philippians 4:8 calls us to think on what is good, pure, and praiseworthy.
4. Pray for the person who hurt you.
Jesus said, “Pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:28).
Prayer softens what bitterness hardens.
5. Seek reconciliation when possible.
Romans 12:18: “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Peace isn’t always possible, but the effort always honors God.
Forgiveness is not a feeling. It’s a choice.
A choice to release the record of wrongs.
A choice to trust God with justice.
A choice to walk in the mercy you have received.
At the cross, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them.” That wasn’t weakness. That was strength. The strength of a heart free from bitterness and full of love.
As we close this week, let these quiet sins remind you of one simple truth:
We need Christ every single day.
And He gives the grace we need to become people of truth, gratitude, humility, and forgiveness, people shaped by the heart of the Savior.
Another great reminder. Thank you!