Hard seasons have a way of changing people.
Pressure exposes what’s underneath. Disappointment sharpens edges. Repeated conflict can make even faithful Christians guarded and suspicious. Over time, it becomes easier to grow defensive than gentle, cynical rather than hopeful.
God’s word warns us about this danger, not because our Father is harsh, but because He knows how easily the heart can harden.
Through Ezekiel, God promised, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). A heart of flesh is tender, responsive, and alive. A heart of stone may feel protected, but it is also numb.
Hard seasons tempt us to choose stone.
The season we’re living in
We are living in a hard season for several reasons.
Political division has seeped into nearly every part of life. Right now, the country is tearing itself apart over illegal immigration, government spending, and the economy. Elections no longer just divide opinions; they fracture relationships. Fear, anger, and suspicion are constant companions, and many Christians feel pressured to choose sides rather than pursue Christlike wisdom and restraint.
Culture wars have added another layer of strain, not only because society is changing so quickly, but also because of how many of us are responding to those changes. Instead of patient conviction, we often see cynicism. Instead of thoughtful engagement, we see angry posts and sarcastic memes. Social media has become a place where many flame those they disagree with, mock rather than persuade, and score points rather than show Christ. Much of this is driven by fear—fear of losing influence, fear of being misunderstood, fear of being pushed aside. But these reactions rarely draw people toward the gospel. More often, they harden hearts on both sides and leave the church looking combative rather than compassionate.
Strife and conflict within the church have only added to the weight many are carrying. Ongoing public disagreements leave many discouraged. Scripture warns us that human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires (James 1:20). And there is always collateral damage. A war of words rarely stays contained. It wounds people who were never part of the dispute and discourages those who are simply trying to remain faithful. We must not forget what Paul wrote, If you bite and devour one another, watch out, or you will be consumed by one another (Galatians 5:15).
Layered on top of all this are personal struggles that haven’t paused: illness, grief, financial stress, mental health battles, and family strain. Many are carrying these burdens with fewer emotional and spiritual reserves than before.
All of this creates a climate where it is easy to grow guarded, cynical, or spiritually numb. The temptation is to harden the heart just to survive.
Why hardness feels safer
Hardness feels like self-protection. If we don’t care as much, we won’t hurt as much. If we keep people at arm’s length, they can’t disappoint us. If we stop hoping, we won’t feel let down.
But hardness should not be identified as a spiritual strength. Instead, the Bible presents it as a danger: Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts (Hebrews 3:15). A hardened heart doesn’t usually form overnight. It develops slowly through unaddressed hurt, unresolved anger, and fatigue that goes unattended.
Christ calls us to something different
Jesus does not call us to toughness. He calls us to Christlikeness.
The Holy Spirit urges each of us, therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience (Colossians 3:12). These qualities are difficult to practice when life is hardest. Gentleness is tested under pressure. Patience is refined through frustration. Compassion grows when wounds are real.
Staying soft does not mean being naïve. It means refusing to let pain determine who we become.
A soft heart requires God’s help
Left to ourselves, we harden. Staying tender requires God’s work in us.
David prayed, Create a clean heart for me, God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me (Psalm 51:10). A soft heart must be continually renewed. We do not maintain tenderness through willpower, but through daily dependence on God.
Jesus Himself was gentle and humble in heart (Matthew 11:29), even in suffering. His softness did not make Him weak. It made Him faithful.
A word for us
Hard seasons will come. The Word never promises otherwise. But hardness need not follow. Remember:
God can keep your heart tender (Ezekiel 36:26).
He can preserve compassion, even when mercy feels costly (Colossians 3:12).
And He can grow gentleness where pain once lived, producing fruit that reflects Christ Himself (Galatians 5:22–23).
When He does, your life becomes a quiet witness that fear did not win … faith did.
Powerful reflection. The observation that hardness forms gradually through unaddressed hurt is so accurat - most people don't wake up one day and decide to become cynical, it happens incrementally when pain goes unprocessed. I've noticed in my own life that what feels like selfprotection in the moment usually ends up being self-isolation over time, which is exactly what the heart of stone metaphor captures.