Most conflicts in the church don’t start because of major doctrinal differences. They begin because people stop listening.
James 1:19 says,
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.”
That’s the opposite of how we usually live. We tend to be quick to speak, quick to get angry, and slow to listen. But godly communication reverses that pattern. Listening isn’t a weakness—it’s wisdom.
Listening Is a Spiritual Discipline
Listening is one of the clearest ways to show love to another person.
Proverbs 18:13 warns,
“The one who gives an answer before he listens—this is foolishness and disgrace for him.”
When you choose to listen, you’re saying, “You matter enough for me to hear you out.”
That posture reflects humility and honors the other person as someone made in God’s image.
Listening Shows the Heart of Christ
Jesus told us in Matthew 5:44-45,
“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you… so that you may be children of your Father in heaven.”
Even when we disagree with someone, we’re called to love and pray for them. Listening is one way we live that command. It reminds us that the person across from us is not our enemy … they are a blood-bought believer whom Christ died to save.
When we listen, we honor Christ by valuing the people He values.
Contempt Kills Conversation
Contempt is the biggest obstacle to good communication. It whispers, “I already know what they’re going to say, and I don’t care.”
Once contempt enters the heart, communication dies. Even if we’re right on the issue, we’ll be wrong in attitude.
Paul warned, “Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up” (1 Corinthians 8:1). Listening is one of the ways love builds up.
How to Listen Well
Here are five habits that change the tone of any conversation:
Pause before responding.
You don’t have to fill every silence.
Ask questions.
“Can you help me understand what you meant?”
Repeat what you heard.
It shows respect and makes people feel valued.
Pray while you listen.
Ask God for patience and wisdom in the moment.
Assume the best, not the worst.
Love believes all things (1 Corinthians 13:7).
A Listening Church
A church that listens well will disagree better.
When brothers and sisters listen before reacting, trust begins to grow again.
Listening doesn’t mean compromise—it means Christlikeness.
It’s a way of reflecting the patience, gentleness, and grace of our Savior.
Reflection
Before you speak, ask yourself:
Have I really heard them out?
Do they feel loved, even if I disagree?
Listening won’t erase every conflict, but it will keep your heart soft and your words gracious.
Tomorrow’s Post:
We’ll explore what to do when you’ve been wronged, examining how forgiveness and patience can protect unity in Christ.
